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Through the open window, I heard my seven-year-old daughter, Trish, and her friends talking. I finished cleaning the room and was about to leave when I heard her use a profanity.

I rushed outside, sent her friends home, gave her a tongue-lashing and dismissed her to her room saying, “You go think about the meaning of what you said.”

I followed her back into the house but did not go to her room right away. I could not believe that my daughter had used that language. Where had she heard such a vulgar term? Why did she think it was OK to say it? How would I get her to understand that she should never use words like that again?

I fumed and fretted. With no answers, I decided it was time to confront her. Thinking that I would tell her how she had disappointed Jesus and me by using that language, I opened her door.

She was not crying or looking fearfully for my arrival. Instead, she was sitting with a dictionary in her lap.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“You told me to think about the word’s meaning,” she said. When I didn’t answer, she continued, “I don’t know what the word means, so I’m looking it up.”

It had never occurred to me that my daughter did not know what she was saying. She had used the word so expertly. Her obvious ignorance of the word’s vulgarity caused me to regret my previous actions.

I sat down next to her and helped her look it up. After we read the definition, I explained why she shouldn’t use it and why it was offensive. She understood and said she would never use it again.

Then I apologized for my hasty actions, and we hugged. Because of our talk, my daughter understood that profanity would not be allowed in our house, even if she heard it elsewhere, and that maybe she should look up new words before using them. We never had to fight that battle again.

Swear words

by Debra Nehs 

“How would I get her to understand that she should never use words like that again?”

Through the open window, I heard my seven-year-old daughter, Trish, and her friends talking. I finished cleaning the room and was about to leave when I heard her use a profanity.

I rushed outside, sent her friends home, gave her a tongue-lashing and dismissed her to her room saying, “You go think about the meaning of what you said.”

I followed her back into the house but did not go to her room right away. I could not believe that my daughter had used that language. Where had she heard such a vulgar term? Why did she think it was OK to say it? How would I get her to understand that she should never use words like that again?

I fumed and fretted. With no answers, I decided it was time to confront her. Thinking that I would tell her how she had disappointed Jesus and me by using that language, I opened her door.

She was not crying or looking fearfully for my arrival. Instead, she was sitting with a dictionary in her lap.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“You told me to think about the word’s meaning,” she said. When I didn’t answer, she continued, “I don’t know what the word means, so I’m looking it up.”

It had never occurred to me that my daughter did not know what she was saying. She had used the word so expertly. Her obvious ignorance of the word’s vulgarity caused me to regret my previous actions.

I sat down next to her and helped her look it up. After we read the definition, I explained why she shouldn’t use it and why it was offensive. She understood and said she would never use it again.

Then I apologized for my hasty actions, and we hugged. Because of our talk, my daughter understood that profanity would not be allowed in our house, even if she heard it elsewhere, and that maybe she should look up new words before using them. We never had to fight that battle again.

From Focus on Your Child’s Discovery Years, April 2008. © 2007 Focus on the Family. All rights reserved. International copyright secured. Used by permission.

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